just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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