Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
