well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
