ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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