Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize