that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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