he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
