I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
