There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
