We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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