His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
