We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
where does the pee come out of this thing
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
