lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
