His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
