who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have aggressive nipples.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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