I must be too annoying 4 u.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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