Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
