You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
