before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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