Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
