my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I would fuck him just for his dog
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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