is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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