My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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