ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
