I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
