I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
