Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
