i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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