I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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