words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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