You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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