this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize