Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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