Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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