NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
