now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
