We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
