Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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