Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize