Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
