The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize