I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
