is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
