Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
