What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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