So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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