No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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