Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Randomize
