Pants 0. Shit 1.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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