Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
