I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
