After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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