Your mouth is God's brothel.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Your cock deserves a montage
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
