lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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