id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
