I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
