my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
