I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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