He is an equal opportunity slut.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
