ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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