I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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