I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
