guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
