I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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