why didn't you poke me back
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You were trust falling into bushes
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
